HURTING

I'm hurt again. I can't believe it. I really feel bad and down.

I've had aches and pains since I resumed running. I've worried that could stem from the Cypro-related antibiotic I took for 6 days in late December when my doctor thought I might have walking pneumonia. Such antiobiotics, I understand, can cause a drying out of muscle and tendon fiber that can last for about a month which makes them susceptible to injury. In fact, my right quad really hurt last week, but the pain faded after a day of rest.

So when I went for an easy 5 miler yesterday I wondered how the quad would hold up. Two miles in to the run it was fine and I was becoming more confident that all my parts were in order when my lower left calf began to hurt. As I turned to head for home at the half way mark I assumed the discomfort would fade since I certainly wasn't doing anything vigorous that could cause a calf injury. But the pain didn't go away, so I stopped at the 3 mile mark to stretch it out. I resumed running and so did the pain. A short while later I felt something sharp...had I pulled the muscle?..and I halted the run.

I feel the discomfort a bit now when I walk and more so going down steps. It is very low in the area and that makes me think of the tendon rather than the muscle itself.

Whenever I'm injured I get a very alone feeling and a sense of futility. I have to force myself to not become too depressed and hopeless and to maintain the energy to know that I can still gain something from cross training. I need to struggle against isolating myself with the injury and to reach out to those who can help me. That means setting up an appointment with my sports chiropractors who do deep muscle massage (active muscle release they call it) along with some other healing techniques. I guess I hesitate for a few reasons, both logical and illogical: Calling them is a firm acknowledgement that I really am injured again (I hope it will just go away), sometimes they've not been very helpful (though something they have been) and it's a bit costly. So I struggle.

Feeling depressed this morning I forced myself to call. The doctors are at a seminar and the office is closed! They won't be back till Monday (it's Thursday now). Wow! That wasn't so good for me to hear.