MARATHON WORRYING

I'm worrying.

The Marathon is tommorrow and I'm worrying. Will I run well? My recent race times are, generally, nothing great. So maybe my training hasn't been enough. My groin has tightened up during a few runs lately. Maybe it will again...perhaps, as it did in 2002, so badly that I'll have to quit. And early this morning, while in bed, my left calf spasmed. Whenever this has happened in the past, my running was disturbed for a day or two. That makes running 26.2 miles tomorrow very iffy to say the least. So I'm worrying about all of this.

And, even without all these worries, I'd be worrying, because the Marathon itself is worrisome. I just can't seem to get it right. I never run as fast as earlier races suggest that I am capable of. And I never run the whole course, having to walk larger and larger distances late in the contest. I've never gone beyond 21 good miles and that was on the flat Disney course. In New York, 17 or 18 has been my limit. So I end up feeling that I've competed only up to that point; afterwards I'm simply surviving. Not very athletic.

My best distance run, actually, came in a 22 mile training jaunt that included a 15K race in the middle. It was a cold day in December, 2005, and I did 7 easy miles to begin, arriving perfectly at the starting line just as the race itself commenced. Interestingly, all those early miles were slower than 9 minutes. Once I got involved with the racers, however, I ran about 8:30 pace over the remaining 15 miles. As there was water available, I never stopped once. For 22 miles in challenging Central Park (though the course did not include the North Hills), I averaged 8:46. And I did that wearing or carrying a sweatshirt and without the benefit of gatoraide.

I've never run that well for that long in any marathon. Why? Easy, I think. It's because I've never run that slowly at the start. It's too boring not to mention too worrisome to hold myself back...I fear I'm selling myself short. But I pay for that misjudgement in 10, 11, 12 minute and slower miles much later on.

So I know what I need to do this time...and, of course, I worry that I won't allow myself to do it, that I'll just get too caught up in the excitement and in the thought that maybe THIS TIME those low to middle 8 minute miles won't catch up to me and do to me what they've always done before. Well, if I can overcome that worry then I'll try the slower pace and see where that gets me. That could lead to a really good result. Provided I've trained enough, of course. And provided also that the groin doesn't tighten and the calf doesn't pull. Because the marathon is a difficult challenge filled with lots of worries.

And then, of course, there are several possible problems with the weather.... :-)