THE TIME I BEAT UNCLE LOU

Sports and competition were big parts of what I shared from early childhood with my Uncle Lou Wallach, who died not long ago. But we never actually competed,except for just this one time....

Softball is what we had most in common. I loved that he lead the Wallach Wonders, the team that represented our side of the road in intramural softball games at Lansmans Bungalow Colony. As a boy I rooted for that team with all my heart. And it got even better when, as a teenager, I played in the same outfield with my uncle on the Lansmans Mens Softball team that competed against other colonies. I was 14 in short center and he was 45 in right field. Despite his seemingly advanced years he helped us win the championship that season.

But we never played against each other in softball. Nor did we in basketball, his number 1 sport as a kid. In fact I never even saw him on a basketball court. And it wasn't in gin rummy, his favorite card game, nor in handicapping horses at the track which he had a passion for. No, we did not compete in any of the areas that he loved.

We vied in paddleball, a sport that he'd never previously played.

No one at Lansmans, in fact, played paddleball, at least not when my family and I first arrived there. Handball was the big sport (besides softball) and it was played by barrel chested men who wore gloves to soften the sting of the hard black ball that they used. Maybe that's why I never got into it...too painful. So I was glad when paddleball slowly began to take over. And I was delighted when a group of players organized the first Lansmans Mens Paddleball Tournament.

Though I was a good player, the organizers did not rate me as one of the top, or "A", players. Probably because I was only 15. So they ranked me a "B" and paired me with another, pretty solid, B level player. Marv Grohmen, one of the men at the Colony that I admired, because Marv had played professional baseball! He'd been a high level minor leaguer, performing for the Atlanta Crackers, a Triple A team that still exists today. On the Lansmans softball field, Marv hit the ball a long way but didn't like to run.

And that's the way he played paddleball. He could wack the ball but didn't care to cover too much of the court. That was fine with me. I loved to scamper all over and get to balls that Marv didn't care very much to chase. We easily rolled through our first 2 opponents that way and made it to the semi finals.

In the semis we faced Shelly Moskowitz who was probably the best player. Shelly was not just good...he liked to psyche people out, playing all sorts of mind games. And he dearly loved to beat me. In fact, a few summers later, Shelly won a hard fought game against me though he complained near the end of not feeling well. Later he was taken to the hospital...he'd suffered a mild heart attack. A few days afterwards I got a message from him: "I can even beat you when I'm having a heart attack!" Happily, he was well on the way to recovery.

But in the tournament, Shelly was paired with a "C," a very weak, partner. So, as much as we could, Marv and I hit the ball to the poorer player. By the end Shelly threw down his paddle in disgust. We'd won easily...

...And advanced to the finals where we faced another strong player, Normie Shlesinger. Normie hit the ball harder than anyone and he announced to the entire colony that "there is no way that Mikey can beat me." In fact I didn't intend to even try. Our strategy, of course, was to beat Normie's weaker partner.

And that, in case you haven't guessed it, was Uncle Lou! Though a great athlete, Uncle Lou never played paddleball or any other, similar, racquet sport. He was a weak paddleballer and had thus been teamed with the powerful Norm. And so this was my one big competition with my Uncle!

The game went just as Marv and I hoped. We built a solid lead by playing the ball to Uncle Lou. He did very well, all things considered, but we were just relentless and that kept Normie from being much of a factor. Sometimes as a result, perhaps out of frustration, he overextended himself and that gave us even more advantages.

Finally it was championship point. I hit a shot to Uncle Lou and he swung a mighty, slightly uppercut swing. This swing had propelled many long home runs in softball and here he caught the ball solidly as well. It flew off his paddle towards the wall but up and up, rising about the wall and smacking into the screen above it. It was over and we were champs.

Norm and Uncle Lou congratulated us and walked off the court. Norm was shaking his head and kind of muttering to himself. Not Uncle Lou. He smiled at me, turned to the crowd and announced in a very clear voice: "Okay, next activity, gin rummy game in 15 minutes, in front of my bungalow!"

And that is the way he handled it, that one time I beat Uncle Lou!